Time....

     Time is a funny thing..... sometimes it feels like it goes by so fast yet sometimes it feels like the clock stands still.  It's coming up on 3 months since our sweet baby girl  Emery Lynn Crookston was born sleeping.  Most days it feels like a  bad dream but it's not, it is reality and a reality that is sometimes hard to swallow.
 
 We've been so touched and over whelmed by the love and support we have felt from so many in these past few months.  The word I would use to describe Emery's service was perfect. For how little time we had to put everything together and while I was trying to recover from a c -section, it turned out perfect. At the viewing when I walked up and saw her for the first time in her tiny white casket she took my breath away.  She looked like a perfect angel in her white dress lying there. I could feel the spirit so strong  radiating from her tiny little body. It's a feeling I will never forget.  I'm forever grateful to my sister in laws for the time and thought that was put into making her headband, socks, and bracelet. I would have never been able to make them myself. They were perfect and made with such love for our sweet little angel. It's hard to explain the peace and comfort I had while holding her that day. It was so hard to say that final goodbye to her, and know  that was the last time I would hold her in my arms for a very long time. I could have sat in that chair and held her in my arms forever. We are so grateful for the family and friends who came that day and saw our little baby girl whom they never met but loved so dearly.
 
  The graveside service was beautiful in every way.  It was such a nice spring day, we couldn't have asked for better weather. I love where we chose to bury her, it's so pretty and I feel such peace there. Our bishop and Matt's father spoke beautiful words and we sang "I am of A child of God" and "Families can be together Forever".  Her tiny white casket looked so beautiful with her pink and white roses on top.  We ended the service by sending 70 pink balloons up to heaven to our sweet Emery. I loved how our bishop said that Emery needed some pink balloons so we were going to send her some..... and we did and it was such a wonderful way to end the service. We all stood there and watched them go up higher and higher into the sky to our sweet Emery.  I'm so thankful for the love and support that was given us that day. The luncheon at the church was put together with such love for our family. The food was so delicious and they had it decorated   so pretty.  I have felt such love and comfort  from our ward and I know it's where we're suppose to be right now.
 
 One of the hardest things for me is knowing that I'll never hear her call me mommy or see her start her first day of school and watch her look back and wave goodbye.......not in this life but I will someday. We are so grateful for our knowledge that we have and that we'll see our sweet baby girl again. It's heart breaking to imagine this life without her but I know this separation from her now is just temporary and that she is doing great things right now.  We take great comfort and peace in knowing that she is with a loving heavenly father, and that we will  be together with her someday. Oh what a joyous reunion that will be. We love you sweet angel.
                                                   
            
                                    My sweet eternal family